I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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