I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
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It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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