doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
