a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
