I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
