your parents love me but you hate me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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