We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?