Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

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  (586): I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts http://tfl.nu/hmun
  Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (663)
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  (916): View more from California

  I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.

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  (916): I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy. http://tfl.nu/1tnq
  Replies (7) Good night (1907) Bad night (602)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

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  (646): You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing.... http://tfl.nu/xrxl
  Replies (3) Good night (4397) Bad night (744)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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  (864): I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger http://tfl.nu/bdgv
  Replies (10) Good night (3002) Bad night (877)
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  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (5179)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

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  (613): You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best. http://tfl.nu/snhs
  Replies (5) Good night (2854) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

  (951): View more from California

  ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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  (951): Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch? (951): ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store... http://tfl.nu/jg4u
  Replies (10) Good night (1582) Bad night (644)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that

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  (210): And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that http://tfl.nu/fyxx
  Replies (6) Good night (870) Bad night (552)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

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  (845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (644)
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  (619): View more from California

  It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.

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  (619): It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him. http://tfl.nu/bq38
  Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.

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  (513): I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old. http://tfl.nu/lqlu
  Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (887)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.

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  (732): Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun. http://tfl.nu/t14n
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (329)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.

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  (828): I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals. http://tfl.nu/0dw4
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.

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  (317): So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day. http://tfl.nu/ljj0
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic

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  (508): He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic http://tfl.nu/r3d6
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (238)

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