This gyro tastes like lonliness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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