come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...