Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
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i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.