is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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