I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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