I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
