I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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