some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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