is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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