if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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