that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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