if you like me you must not know who I am
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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