I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
