Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
