Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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