I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
