There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
