im drinking this country out of the recession.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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