You can't motorboat a personality
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
