Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if only i could text you this smell
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
