even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
