4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
