Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't put those talents on a resume
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
