They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
