he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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