ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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