mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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