Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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