Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
