he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
