is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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