So drunk its hurt
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
