glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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