He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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