I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
