sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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