Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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