I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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