dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
