My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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