life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize