yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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