Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
