all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
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Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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