Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
