So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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