During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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