Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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