And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
