Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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