I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
