I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
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He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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