oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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