do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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