Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Banned from zoo.
Again?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
