I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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