You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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