whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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