chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
bring money and cleavage
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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