That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...