i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.