I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.