Do you still have your period?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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